During Yoga my instructor shared this quote…then she even photocopied it for me! THANKS!
“As we are all human beings living on earth among [6.7 billion] other human beings, our happiness is intimately connected to that of others. It is hard to imagine personal happiness detached or separate from the happiness of others. For it is certain that if we aspire to happiness, we must be deeply concerned about the happiness of all humankind.”
Happiness is for everyone. It’s better than money because (1) there’s plenty to go around; and (2) we assign our own value to it!!! If you believe in happiness then it makes sense that you’d want to give others a chance at it to.
HOW DOES THIS RELATE TO THE CARISSA PROJECT?
I am working with youth that are constantly rejected by society. It’s so bad that when they try to get jobs they get turned down. When they apply themselves they’re told they are just not good enough! It’s not just because they lack skills, but because they have “attitude problems” or they don’t dress or speak “appropriately.”
Would you be able to achieve happiness if your best efforts were rejected???
I love programs that give everyone a chance at happiness — they accept & meet people where they are. If we need to prepare young people before they apply themselves then let’s do it. It’s amazing how much more young people will grow when you accept them where they’re at.
Remember not to expect miracles from anyone, unless you apply miracles!
Here are two miracle workers that meet young people where they are at:
THERE IS SPACE AVAILABLE FOR A SIMILAR PROGRAM TO SERVE YOUNG WOMEN IN FRESNO, CA.
Last week I realized that there is not a specific program for work readiness for young women in Fresno. I hear GREAT things about Hope Now for Youth, so I’d like to borrow from their model, as well as Homeboys, and start something for young women. There is a need! I was mentoring a young woman at a transitional living center when I realized the need!
WHAT YOU CAN DO TO ENSURE YOUNG WOMEN IN FRESNO ARE NOT “ON THEIR OWN”?
Make a major contribution or help with time or efforts on this project! If you’re interested in the success of young women in Fresno please email me at: hopenowforgirls@gmail.com
{that’s just the idea not the name of the org! we’ll probably leave the name more open so that boys that want to join feel welcomed.}
If you can’t do a lot then buy “On My Own” or share this link. 100% of proceeds go to helping kids that are/were in situations like mine:
Here’s an experiment for people who can sometimes feel like a swinging mass on a wire has a lot in common with their emotional life.
Do you know how pendulums work? It seems simple enough when you look at a clock, but did you know that the pendulum swings faster (with greater frequency) when the wire it hangs from is shorter? Did you also know that the weight of the pendulum does not determine how fast it will swing?
Instructions:
Step 1: SCROLL DOWN TO CHANGE LENGTH
Step 2: HIT START
Step 3: NOW CUT THE LENGTH TO .5 (HALF THE ORIGINAL LENGTH)
Step 4: HIT START AGAIN See how fast it moves when you decrease your support network.
Step 5: INCREASE THE LENGTH TO 2 (TWICE THE ORIGINAL LENGTH)
Step 6: HIT START AGAIN You can slow the emotional pendulum down by increasing your support network.
ANALYSIS
How you describe and relate the pendulum to your life is up to you.
If you did the experiment you understand why I say that my wire is what keeps me connected. It’s my friends, my family, and the activities that make me feel grounded. I know that the shorter my wire is the faster my emotional pendulum will swing.
HOW MY SCIENCE EVOLVED
In the past I’ve found comfort in knowing that the degree of pain that I experienced would provide an equal degree of happiness — I thought when the pendulum would swing toward the positive (happiness) it would hit a super high point to counteract the negative (pain). It’s true that the mass swings the same distance in the opposite direction — BUT the damn thing swings back too!
Just as life goes on after our defining moments, the pendulum keeps swinging. And even though “my science” meant I would have a great upside — the downside was that I risked going back to that deep painful place.
PAIN
I kinda figured out that feeling sad is inevitable, but I did not want to feel like I was going to swing back to where I started. So I did what every great scientist does — I changed the axioms — the self-evident truths, so that I had a better outcome.
Now I define pain as the mass, the weight of the pendulum, instead of the degree that the pendulum is pulled back. You see the mass of the pendulum does not determine frequency, but without some mass we can’t feel anything. Pain is necessary. It’s almost a requirement to life.
My new axiom: I exist therefore I must feel pain. But the degree of pain I experienced in the past does not have to be experienced again and again in order to live a fulfilling life.
SWINGING
The solution to an emotional life that is swinging with high frequency is to: (1) add reliable friends, (2a) connect with family or (2b) if your family is swinging out of control, build a support network that acts like a family, and (3) increase activities that make you feel grounded, like walking around a lake or visiting the ocean, or hiking, or laughing.
WHAT GROUNDS ME
Even though my science wasn’t perfect, I began lowering the frequency of my emotional pendulum a long time ago.
First with Barbara, who taught me what a home was, and became a strong mother figure in my life. Giving me the support I needed to get grounded. Next, I added friends. Long lasting ones. There were only one or two, but they changed my life. Today I know the value of friendship because of that friend that (for two decades) has never judged and always let me be me. Thanks Melisa!!!
The steps I take now are incremental to keep the pendulum steady. Over the last decade I’ve seen a lot change in my life that might have hit me like a tornado, but I was always able to get back to the basics. To laugh with my friends, to get support from my family (the one I was granted and the one I created)…the point is that I had steady people that I could connect to when life started feeling a little out of control.
I’ve also been able to build new friendships. My best friend in Los Angeles inspired me to write this blog in the first place! He might look like an unlikely match for me, an Italian producer with a great family and a wonderful happy childhood. Riccardo grew up in Milan, Italy and his life experience reminds me that life is a blessing. He has a great frequency and I enjoy being near him — he acts like a force to center my life and he also increases the length of my emotional wire.
THE LESSON
The lesson that I’ve been learning over my lifetime is that I don’t have to act or re-act based on my past experiences. I can slow down my emotional responses and even reset the degree of ups and downs that I feel. I’m sharing because I think some of us feel like the pendulum is out of our hands.
It is in fact in our hands — we live life by our own science — our own axioms, rules, and definitions.
We can all get back to the center, if we know what to add and what to take back AND all that means is GETTING BACK TO THE BASICS!
WHEN AXIOMS FAIL
Sometimes our science fails us, and things don’t make that much sense (like the video below). It’s usually our minds playing tricks on us, but it could be serious. I’ve seen too many kids reject therapy (and even evaluations) because there is still a social stigma among our street culture to not admit that we need some help — my only advice is that we all need a wire — and the tougher things get the more you need safe (grounded) people you can talk to.
It’s your ride! In this picture things are out of control. There are actually hidden magnets that make the pendulum swing out of control. When life feels like this first identify the energy forces (peers or even family) that are throwing you off…then decide if you should distance yourself from them by saying “goodbye” to bad friends, or when it’s family you might want to increase the length of your wire by getting better friends and building a stronger support network.
Kids aren’t the only ones that have a stigma about getting help. If a doctor recommends more to get your emotional pendulum in order then consider it. I could see that sometimes when we’re swinging out of control it could be necessary to take a pill. BUT remember the goal is to get back to a regular frequency, so let the meds help you get back to the basics.
Regular maintenance is necessary, so when life is just a little out of control try thinking about the pendulum. Think about who or what increases the length of your wire, and remember that no matter how heavy it all seems you’ll get through it — in my science the weight of what I went through in the past does not determine what I experience today!
Wednesday September 3, 2008 — I’m back to blogging b/c it works for me!
There is a divide between those with homes and those who are without a home. There is even a name for those without a home we call them our “homeless” – we introduce them as “homeless.” This does not seem strange to us, but if we began to call everyone by their housing status we would see the obvious error in our label. Imagine someone introducing me as Carissa Phelps, she is “3-bedroom 2-bath.” Does my house really have anything to do with me? This is Carissa Phelps, she is “with home.”
The labeling is an indication of what we understand implicitly. We know without thinking about it that being homeless is important enough to go to the core of a human being. That’s why we feel the need to announce that a person is “homeless.”
Take it a step further and think about what we expect of those we label “homeless.”
A. Nothing. Maybe it’s because we understand how crippling being without a home really is.
B. To leave those of us “with homes” alone and stay out of our way. We want to avoid seeing the effects of homelessness up close. And maybe that’s simply because we’re so afraid of the realities of homelessness.
My point is that the devastation of being “homeless” only begins with a label then it goes much deeper. The label dismantles the core that makes up a person. Being labeled as “homeless” can instantly erase (1) who a person is now, (2) who they were in the past, and (3) who they will be in the future.
I’m sorry that I’ve ever called someone “homeless” – I don’t want to say that anymore, but is it even avoidable?
I want to change the way I see people and say, this is “Al.” He recently lost his wife, who he loved deeply. Last I knew Al was living along the 99, he moved nightly. Sometimes if he was lucky he only had to move weekly. He had a poor paying job asking for donations at the freeway on-ramp in his neighborhood. Al is a person. He’s a person right now. Al has a past, a present, and a future, but when he is just another “homeless person” he does not.
I totally understand that most of us “with homes” cannot imagine being “without homes.” We have some trouble with empathy. That is completely understandable. But it is not acceptable.
I’m thinking about what it means to be homeless. I’m remembering what it was like when I was without a safe home and I was running away. People took advantage of me and I was in a lot of pain. I was also alone a lot. I’m thinking about being homeless again as an adult, in this poor economy. With current housing trends, it seems like it’s a possibility for even more of us to be without a home — or with a shared home — or back at a parent’s home.
What if you didn’t have friends? What if you didn’t have your parents? What if your elderly parents didn’t have you? Would you want to be called homeless? Or by our name? Would you want to hold onto your past, your present, and your future or let them all go for a label?
I think most of us would be devastated with losing our housing, but we’d be even more devastated if we lost our identity.
Think about what it means to be without a home, or without a safe home, or living on the streets — moving nightly or weekly — finding another friend’s couch, staying in a shelter, or a tool shed. All of that is somewhat doable in a mechanical sense, but then imagine losing your identity and trying to do it. I think what hurt me the most on the streets was becoming a label, and losing who I was (or who I was becoming) as a person.
How I know that labels hurt and they don’t tell the whole story…
My label when I was 12 began as “601.” (601 is the number of the truancy code that I broke when I ran away.) Quickly my label changed to “602.” (602 meant I had actually broken an adult law, and also meant I was on formal probation.) The 601 said nothing about what I was running away from. And the 602 label did not let anyone known that I had to shoplift to survive — for basic necessities because I was too young to work.
These two labels put me in a category of people that were socially foul. No one wanted to hear about my excuses or my reasons, and definitely not a word about my hopes or dreams — and that is how what it is like to be without a past, present, or future.
The Human Development index is an old way of looking at how other nations are doing. It simply measures 1) Health, 2) Education, and 3) Income.
You haven’t heard about it before because the way America has graded itself in the past has been to look at the pure economics. Our nation’s take on things has been, “we’re doing fine, when our citizens are making enough money,” and “we can tell that they’re making enough money when they’re shopping enough.”
We traditionally look at consumer indexes, and try to judge consumer confidence by retail sales. Honestly, even with an A.A, a B.A, a J.D., and an M.B.A., that stuff seems so much harder to understand than the straightforward: 1) Health, 2) Education, and 3) Income measures.
It also makes sense to rate America in terms of Human Development because it’s actually the way we judge the rest of the world.
The tool is old because it has been used as an effective means of communicating Human Development abroad. Thanks to three researchers here in the U.S. we will now be looking at America with the expanded lense.
The researchers took a look at the 436 U.S. Congressional Districts. Some say it’s political for that reason, and the researchers say it’s just an effective way to look at objective data. I agree with the researchers. I love it when data comes with accountability, it makes it so much easier to do something about the stuff that makes you upset.
The 20th Congressional District ranked 436th out of 436. The 20th Congressional District includes Fresno (it includes Coalinga too–the small town I was from when I ended up in Fresno).
The very sad truth is that no matter which index you use, when you look at Fresno, particularly the 20th District, we rank dead last. [see: More LEMONS below]
************************************************************************************************ Political Side Note
This year I think politics should not be played out as usual, especially in Fresno. I’m all for working together toward progress, but now is no time for anyone on the fence to be a sell out — including me. For that reason I need to expand on my future relationship with Congressman Costa.
You may already know that the Congressman for the 20th District, Jim Costa, is an old time politician. He’s a blue dog, a member of a fiscally conservative democratic group. My hope is that he won’t be as fiscally conservative this next term. We need investments in every direction, and my take on government is that if used properly federal taxes can stimulate investment (just like it has with farmers for years), create jobs, and with some regulation provide affordable health care. It’s not rocket science, in fact other nations — yes with higher tax rates — have been spending money on education and healthcare for decades. And the ones that are really good at it even have higher incomes than us because of it. It’s a positive feedback loop!
Americans unfortunately have grown up with a strong distaste for taxes and for big government…but I don’t think it’s about the taxes as much as it is about the people running our government.
As far as the representation in the 20th District goes…
I’ve met Congressman Costa, and I hope to meet him again soon. I learned about his questionable past because people felt compelled to tell me that he was once convicted for picking up an undercover police officer that he thought was a prostitute. I have thought about his past, and did a little research on him. I think that I can work with him, without being a sell out, but it would be a little easier if we could be frank.
The next chance I get, privately (or maybe with my husband there too), I’d just like to clear the air. I don’t expect him to say “I’m sorry about that incident in 1986,” to all of the 20th District again — just to me. You see, Costa was arrested only 3 short years before I was forced into prostitution myself. I could work with him fine if we can talk about it, once. If we don’t talk about it, then I’ll always wonder if he realizes that it could have been me he picked up.
I’m lucky if I get a chance to talk to Costa. Most of us in California don’t have conversations with our representatives. I think that is the number one reason why we stand back with our hands up. We have such a distaste for politics and big government because we are rarely able to get things off our chest. (I base this partly on my visit to the politically hyper state of New Hampshire. There is unbelievable access to politicians in New Hampshire. I think I met the governor and the former governor, and the top candidate for the U.S. Senate, as well as a small fraction of the state assembly — and that was on a short three day trip without leaving the living room!).
Anyways, after I get that small matter off my chest, and the world realizes that I’m not selling out, then I think Costa and I can be well on our way to talking about the motel projects that are located in his district.
Hopefully it will happen soon and over lemonade. But I’m in no rush, I can certainly wait for the appropriate moment. In case he is wondering (or his staff) I do realize that he served his time on probation for his offense. It just seems like probation is a slap on the wrist compared to the jail time I served, when I was 12 years old and picked up on the other side of a similar street.
Back to “THE AMERICAN HUMAN DEVELOPMENT PROJECT” — I think that this report is very SAD, depressing, almost makes you want to move away from this place and find a better place, where people have a chance in life. True poverty is nothing to celebrate, but on the other hand what good can come out of knowing we’re the poorest of the poor?
I really don’t know the answer yet, and it’s not a rhetorical question, but the reason I think something good will come out of being dead last in terms of human development is because it’s something people care about.
My take on very bad news can be summed up in a lesson I was taught when I was 15 years old. I was attending continuation high school, and I was super sad. I think I had just bombed the standardized writing test, and I was so depressed because I really wrote my heart out.
I was sitting alone kinda quiet looking at all the bad comments on my exam booklet, when Barbara, the teacher’s aid (who is now like a mom to me) walked over to my table and sat down next to me.
Barbara said to me in a very matter-of-fact way: “You’ve got to make lemonade!”
I replied: “What do you mean?”
She went on to explain because I obviously had never heard this saying before.
“When God gives you lemons you’ve got to make lemonade.” Then Barbara did the sweetest thing. She gave me a hard lemon candy to brighten up my day, and with that little Lemonhead she sealed this story in my head for life.
So what’s this all have to do with Fresno? Everything!
My first step when I’m done with this bar exam is to open up a dreamy lemonade stand, the best in town…and you know exactly where it will be. It will be in the city and in the neighborhood that has the most lemons!
June 25, 2008 Wednesday — You just never know…and then CNN calls
You just never know what your role is when you’re trying to create a social movement, or a paradigm shift. These are things that don’t happen overnight, or with one movie, one song, or one person. It’s a widespread effort. There are so many people and projects fighting to recognize the forgotten victims on the streets…the children who are without families, and without any protection. And today we all got a little bit of our payoff.
This morning I broke out of my study routine, and my usually sweat pants and tank top attire, for a CNN interview. Seems that as I have been taking practice exams and hitting the books, the FBI Innocence Lost Project has been working on a crack down on child prostitution rings in the U.S.
I’ll post my interview with CNN as soon as I have it. (If anyone records CNN it was on at around 1240 p.m. PST.)
The crack down, and the fact that 21 children were brought to safety made me so appreciative for all of you.
THANK YOU for getting this message out.
Like I said earlier, you just never know what your role is when something like this happens, but I think it’s important for all of us to take a moment and realize we can make a difference. It started this week with the FBI saving 21 young lives.
The US Attorney will prosecute most of the cases against the pedophiles, pimps, and adult prostitutes. During the trials the most important job the US Attorney will have is to ensure that the 21 children are properly cared for. The only way to do that is to work with the experts. Rachel with GEMS in NY, Lois with Children of the Night, and a handful of other people in the country who know what they’re talking about when it comes to caring for children that have been victimized by pimps.
Unfortunately, most of the time the children do not have family’s that can work through these issues. Most of the children that are preyed upon are runaways and throw aways. Some are even sold into prostitution by their families.
I will do my best to inquire about the care for the 21 children. We should ensure they are not punished, and that they have a chance at having a normal life. The work does not stop at breaking up the prostitution rings. This nightmare really is not over until the healing process begins, and childhoods are lived out.
So, what will happen after the case is closed?
I think it’s my job to ask the right questions. If there is not a plan, then I’d like to help create one. If there is no money for a plan, then let’s get some. Let’s try to get the $10 million for emergency shelters that was cut out of the Traffic Victim Protection Act of 2005 put back in the budget (I heard sadly it was an easy cut to make to help pay for the war).
Let’s not let these 21 saved lives, or any others, get lost in the system again.
I’m looking forward to getting back to work on this in a big way when I am a licensed attorney. Until then, let’s pray for the children that were saved, and the thousands more that are still out there.
Thanks to all of you for your support, I do believe that we’re making a difference!
Thanks to the FBI Innocence Lost Project, I know they’re working hard to end this nightmare and I support them 1000%!!!
————————
One more note about the CNN interview that deserves it’s own book. When I was asked how my life turned around, I talked again about Ron Jenkins. I can’t wait to share more about this amazing mentor in my life…it really does belong in a book or feature film.
Ron was my counselor in juvy when I was 13 years old. He was also the first person to ask me what happened to me on the streets. I lost contact with Ron for over a decade, and only reconnected when I was graduating from his alma mater, Fresno State! (GO DOGS!!!)
If you haven’t seen it yet, Ron is the star of the documentary. He’s also the star of my childhood, because he saved it!
All these years later, Ron is still the most positive role model I could ask for. He’s my saving grace, and when you watch the interview, you’ll see me go from somber to lit up when I talk about him. We all need a Ron, and we should all remember it’s not too tough to be a Ron either. You just have to do your job and ask the right questions.
“I was losing interest in politics, when the repeal of the Missouri Compromise aroused me again. What I have done since then is pretty well known.” - Abraham Lincoln
June 17, 2008 — Tuesday and my first politically themed blog. Forgive me not.
I have stayed away from politics at family gatherings and on the blogs, but silently and suddenly a new type of candidate has, in Lincoln’s words, “aroused me again.”
I used to be a bit of a political activist, but I have been losing it over the last few years. I joined the ranks of the politically exhausted. I have pretty much been resolved to poor leadership, thinking my job was in the trenches improving systems & processes.
This year I have been embarrassed to even say how much I did not care about the presidential race, but all of that surprisingly and quietly came to an end last week when Hillary Clinton stepped away from the podium.
I was becoming a typical Gen-X’er … disinterested and apathetic. And I thought Clinton, despite challenges, would be ushered into The White House. It was clear that she had a powerful political machine growing around her for decades, so how could she lose? But when she did lose, state by state, primary by primary, it surprised me.
I absolutely appreciate HC’s dedication to our country. She does not have to do what she does — and she always has had the very best intentions. I like that she put it all on the line, and beat down barriers for women, but this country (sadly) is not prepared for a woman president…YES I really think that and it deserves more explanation, so I’ll explain:
It was never okay for HC to be power driven. That was deemed a negative, and because she was a woman she needed to justify why she was seeking such a powerful leadership position. Why wouldn’t she just want to stay at home, or relax, or adopt children? Those are the qualities we value in women, and they’re great, but they’re also misdirected. Leaders are leaders, male or female. Homemakers are homemakers, male or female. We need each other to get through life. That’s the catch. As more women enter the ranks of “leader” we all have feared losing the stability of the home, but that doesn’t have to happen. There are plenty more men who would love to be homemakers, just like there are plenty more women who would love to be leaders. That’s all I have to say about that issue for now, but it’s so true. I hope in my lifetime we can begin to support people to do what they want to do, instead of prescribing lives based on gender.
Back to HC’s race…Clinton was not able to show her true self in her campaign. For too long she (and the rest of us women) have been holding onto a picture of a woman from the past. Women are more like men, and men are more like women, than we want to admit. Women leaders are just as power driven as any man, and men that stay at home with the kids are just as interested in the carpool gossip and the class bully as any woman at home would be.
My point is that Clinton had all the INSIDE support to become president that any man could ever want, and it actually worked against her because political INSIDERS are way out of fashion this season. She should have known that, and she probably did, on a gut level. At that point when she realized that she should start kicking people out of the kitchen, and whip up her own dish, she didn’t or maybe she couldn’t. Maybe she had surrounded herself with too many cooks for too long. I think she wasn’t sure what she should do, and that’s okay, except when you’re running for president.
It would have had to have been a very quick and seemingly irrational decision to say good-bye to those that had loved her for so long. Not even a man would have been able to reason with the momentum and the money that was behind Clinton.
I have watched nervously as Clinton journeyed where no woman had ever gone before. I have admired her commitment from far off, and I felt like she was holding back. I think this new journey she’s on will be an exciting one. I want to see Clinton with the gloves off, and outside the political machine. Maybe now that the pressure is off she can bring it!
I have to admit that even Barrack, who has been rewriting history in every primary, was not bringing me out of my political slump as quickly as I had expected. I did make a very early $25 contribution, when a close friend sent me an email request, but at the time it felt more like buying a lottery ticket. I could remember thinking “what are the chances!”
Now that it’s happening and the world may once again enjoy eloquence, passion, and commitment coming out of that big white house, it’s beginning to sink in. Barrack is no insider. He does not have a powerful political machine, he has my close friends and allies who send emails and wake people up to the idea that politics could be fun again. Now that we can actually think about rethinking foreign and domestic policy, and improving the economy with a new deal for the working class, we are beginning to resemble the America that Gen-X’ers actually adore!!!
June 10-15, 2008 Make up blog — No sense to gas prices and no sense in rushing anywhere.
I’m so caught up in studying every moment for the Bar at then end of July. I blogged the other day in my head, but never made up enough time studying to get to the computer. (For all those in email land, I’LL BE BACK in August!)
Anyways the blog was rolling through my head, when I was temporarily away from the studying and away from home. I don’t want to complain about the gas prices (in Europe it’s 2X as much), but what I do want to complain about are those drivers who still insist on riding my tail for going too slow!
I thought by now everyone understood how much gas you could save when you’re not pushing on the gas pedal constantly!!! I’m not saying I like the prices where they are at, I don’t. There is no way for us to catch up to the fuel prices. We can’t give or receive pay raises fast enough. But, I’m not one to focus on the things I can’t control. Instead I prefer to do things that give me the illusion of control, and since we’re all in this gas crisis together, I thought it might be a nice group experiment.
So, what’s my big illusion…simple, JUST DRIVE SLOWER. I don’t crawl through town at dangerously slow speeds. I just go the speed limit, even on these country roads. I know, it sounds funny to all those individuals who actually drive the speed limit, but for those of us who have always lived in the “5 to 9 mph over is safe” — the speed limit is a big deal.
So this blog struck me when I was tailed on my way to and from Curves (my new workout spot). I know that I’m not rushing to work or doctor’s appointments. The truth is that I’m going from studying to workout and back to studying — of course I’m driving slow!!!
But indulge me for a second!
What’s the best way to get a driver’s attention? You’re right…a bumper sticker. And if you could make them laugh then you really have a shot at getting what you want. There are tons of great bumper messages out there but the very best and longest lasting have something to do driving.
I don’t make bumper stickers, and I’m not working for Curves either. But I just thought it would be great if someone would make me a bumper sticker that said: “GET OFF MY *SS — I’M SAVING GAS!”
I think there can be an entire movement behind the idea. When you’re late to work next week just say to your boss: “I wanted you to know that I’m 5 minutes late because I’m trying to drive slower and save money so that you (BOSS) don’t have to pay me more to cover the increase in the cost of living.”
Maybe you’re boss will say THANK YOU! But I suggest you leave five minutes earlier starting on Day 2, and end up in work on time by the end of the week!
And what about those drivers that are in a hurry all the time. How could we make them happier? How about a slight change to the bumper message: “GET OFF MY *SS — I’M SAVING U GAS!”
Again, I’m NOT giving up my career and passions to make bumper stickers, but it’s where my thoughts went while I was out. And believe me that it’s better for me to share these thoughts rather than the ones that I’m forcing in there about contracts, evidence, torts, and more…
Last thought: In case you’re worried…I’m really not losing it. Just trying to lighten up and have a little fun. Also, if you are a bumper sticker maker or have the follow through to make these then good luck — I hope this one sticks! It might even save lives and gas and jobs!
May 28, 2008 Wednesday — My mind is on evidence, but I won’t bore you
According to my bar study I’m officially in Week 1 of my 2 month long bar review course. I have been studying the last two weeks — in the pre bar review course. I learned a ton of rules, and some of it is sticking. That’s a good sign, considering after 30 things don’t stick that well OR maybe that’s just an excuse b/c by 30 there are so many other things to do.
Despite all the great fun things to do in life these days, I’ve been taking practice tests for the multiple choice section of the bar exam — called the MBE. In total the California Bar Exam is 3 days long. It will be July 29-30-31. While I have been studying, I have also been getting on with the big things in life. Cole and I have our official first place together, and that is awesome! We are enjoying making our home together. In addition, I have a nice place to walk our dogs around in the morning. It helps with the study routine to get out of the routine…routinely!
I haven’t had much energy or desire to blog lately. I guess I haven’t had anything to really say until today.
The book was a gift from a mentor, and I have to say that I’ve enjoyed every gift this mentor has given to me. I knew it would be a fun book (b/c he said he laughed at every page) and so I was drawn to it to escape from the relevance & character of evidence.
I’m only into chapter 2, so I can’t really spoil it for anyone. First let me say that you should read the book. Most of my friends (esp. JW) would completely enjoy this book as much as me.
Here’s less about the book and more what it got me thinking about:
#1: We are all extremely lucky that the author, and so many others like him, are NOT lawyers!
When I first decided to go to law school, I did not know a single lawyer, yet I thought it was the only noble and useful profession in the world. It was the only profession where I would be respected, and get things done. Well, by the time I got into law school I did meet a few attorneys. I expected them all to be happy for me — to cheer me on, and yet none of them did. The best and brightest said: GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN AND DO SOMETHING MEANINGFUL WITH YOUR LIFE.
I couldn’t really understand, until now Gilbert explained how we (as humans) make the future out to be something it probably won’t be — e.g., my fantasies about what great things I could do as a lawyer!
But the real reason I started thinking about any of this is because I really am so grateful that Gilbert himself is not a lawyer. I am so grateful that so many other people in the world are doing useful things with their lives (a caveat: this includes some lawyers). I’m also selfishly so pleased that intelligence is not monopolized by evidence instructors that tell bad jokes (but I love you for trying!)
#2) It is possible to be “too smart for your own good” or at least your own happiness.
I take this from a reference to third-party research in Gilbert’s book. It basically says that people who truly understand their true odds in gambling, or in life, are really less happy. Apparently sometimes “fuzzy math” means happiness. Believing in something just might be enough to make you happy. AND unfortunately what smart people often do is look for ways to negate everything. We might be perfect mathematicians and scientists, but we probably haven’t put ourselves out there at all. We’re boring people. We always have the answers, and we just know they are right: 2 + 2 = 4.
AND YET even us smart people realize that our happiness seems to be dependent on (at least sometimes) believing the impossible — can 2 + 2 = 400?
That thought just makes me smile.
Especially because it makes me think of Cole & I. When we first started dating it was him and me. 1 + 1 = 2, but then all the sudden I realized it really was more like 1 + 1 = 3 because we had a whole family; then add our pets and 1 + 1 = 3 + 4 pets! AND THEN add all the added days that he and I are happier (and closer to our true selves) because we’re together and the equation suddenly changes to 2 + 2 = 400!
It’s actually better than I could have imagined!
Anyways, for all of you still doing the straight up math. The “right answers” like 2 + 2 = 4 are a fine start, BUT a word of caution: TAKE TIME TO ADD UP THE REST WHEN YOU GET TO IT! Or, you might just risk losing something because your mind won’t even acknowledge it is there.
What’s the point of these seemingly pointless ramblings?
COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS, EVEN THE ONES YOU HAVE NOT ACCOUNTED FOR YET — if for nothing else, then because they are coming, and if they’re not coming, it’s better for you if you believe they will!
May 28, 2008 Wednesday — My mind is on evidence, but I won’t bore you
According to my bar study I’m officially in Week 1 of my 2 month long bar review course. I have been studying the last two weeks — in the pre bar review course. I learned a ton of rules, and some of it is sticking. That’s a good sign, considering after 30 things don’t stick that well OR maybe that’s just an excuse b/c by 30 there are so many other things to do.
Despite all the great fun things to do in life these days, I’ve been taking practice tests for the multiple choice section of the bar exam — called the MBE. In total the California Bar Exam is 3 days long. It will be July 29-30-31. While I have been studying, I have also been getting on with the big things in life. Cole and I have our official first place together, and that is awesome! We are enjoying making our home together. In addition, I have a nice place to walk our dogs around in the morning. It helps with the study routine to get out of the routine…routinely!
I haven’t had much energy or desire to blog lately. I guess I haven’t had anything to really say until today.
The book was a gift from a mentor, and I have to say that I’ve enjoyed every gift this mentor has given to me. I knew it would be a fun book (b/c he said he laughed at every page) and so I was drawn to it to escape from the relevance & character of evidence.
I’m only into chapter 2, so I can’t really spoil it for anyone. First let me say that you should read the book. Most of my friends (esp. JW) would completely enjoy this book as much as me.
Here’s less about the book and more what it got me thinking about:
#1: We are all extremely lucky that the author, and so many others like him, are NOT lawyers!
When I first decided to go to law school, I did not know a single lawyer, yet I thought it was the only noble and useful profession in the world. It was the only profession where I would be respected, and get things done. Well, by the time I got into law school I did meet a few attorneys. I expected them all to be happy for me — to cheer me on, and yet none of them did. The best and brightest said: GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN AND DO SOMETHING MEANINGFUL WITH YOUR LIFE.
I couldn’t really understand, until now Gilbert explained how we (as humans) make the future out to be something it probably won’t be — e.g., my fantasies about what great things I could do as a lawyer!
But the real reason I started thinking about any of this is because I really am so grateful that Gilbert himself is not a lawyer. I am so grateful that so many other people in the world are doing useful things with their lives (a caveat: this includes some lawyers). I’m also selfishly so pleased that intelligence is not monopolized by evidence instructors that tell bad jokes (but I love you for trying!)
#2) It is possible to be “too smart for your own good” or at least your own happiness.
I take this from a reference to third-party research in Gilbert’s book. It basically says that people who truly understand their true odds in gambling, or in life, are really less happy. Apparently sometimes “fuzzy math” means happiness. Believing in something just might be enough to make you happy. AND unfortunately what smart people often do is look for ways to negate everything. We might be perfect mathematicians and scientists, but we probably haven’t put ourselves out there at all. We’re boring people. We always have the answers, and we just know they are right: 2 + 2 = 4.
AND YET even us smart people realize that our happiness seems to be dependent on (at least sometimes) believing the impossible — can 2 + 2 = 400?
That thought just makes me smile.
Especially because it makes me think of Cole & I. When we first started dating it was him and me. 1 + 1 = 2, but then all the sudden I realized it really was more like 1 + 1 = 3 because we had a whole family; then add our pets and 1 + 1 = 3 + 4 pets! AND THEN add all the added days that he and I are happier (and closer to our true selves) because we’re together and the equation suddenly changes to 2 + 2 = 400!
It’s actually better than I could have imagined!
Anyways, for all of you still doing the straight up math. The “right answers” like 2 + 2 = 4 are a fine start, BUT a word of caution: TAKE TIME TO ADD UP THE REST WHEN YOU GET TO IT! Or, you might just risk losing something because your mind won’t even acknowledge it is there.
What’s the point of these seemingly pointless ramblings? COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS, EVEN THE ONES YOU HAVE NOT ACCOUNTED FOR YET — if for nothing else, then because they are coming, and if they’re not coming, it’s better for you if you believe they will!
May 28, 2008 Wednesday — My mind is on evidence, but I won’t bore you
According to my bar study I’m officially in Week 1 of my 2 month long bar review course. I have been studying the last two weeks — in the pre bar review course. I learned a ton of rules, and some of it is sticking. That’s a good sign, considering after 30 things don’t stick that well OR maybe that’s just an excuse b/c by 30 there are so many other things to do.
Despite all the great fun things to do in life these days, I’ve been taking practice tests for the multiple choice section of the bar exam — called the MBE. In total the California Bar Exam is 3 days long. It will be July 29-30-31. While I have been studying, I have also been getting on with the big things in life. Cole and I have our official first place together, and that is awesome! We are enjoying making our home together. In addition, I have a nice place to walk our dogs around in the morning. It helps with the study routine to get out of the routine…routinely!
I haven’t had much energy or desire to blog lately. I guess I haven’t had anything to really say until today.
The book was a gift from a mentor, and I have to say that I’ve enjoyed every gift this mentor has given to me. I knew it would be a fun book (b/c he said he laughed at every page) and so I was drawn to it to escape from the relevance & character of evidence.
I’m only into chapter 2, so I can’t really spoil it for anyone. First let me say that you should read the book. Most of my friends (esp. JW) would completely enjoy this book as much as me.
Here’s less about the book and more what it got me thinking about:
#1: We are all extremely lucky that the author, and so many others like him, are NOT lawyers!
When I first decided to go to law school, I did not know a single lawyer, yet I thought it was the only noble and useful profession in the world. It was the only profession where I would be respected, and get things done. Well, by the time I got into law school I did meet a few attorneys. I expected them all to be happy for me — to cheer me on, and yet none of them did. The best and brightest said: GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN AND DO SOMETHING MEANINGFUL WITH YOUR LIFE.
I couldn’t really understand, until now Gilbert explained how we (as humans) make the future out to be something it probably won’t be — e.g., my fantasies about what great things I could do as a lawyer!
But the real reason I started thinking about any of this is because I really am so grateful that Gilbert himself is not a lawyer. I am so grateful that so many other people in the world are doing useful things with their lives (a caveat: this includes some lawyers). I’m also selfishly so pleased that intelligence is not monopolized by evidence instructors that tell bad jokes (but I love you for trying!)
#2) It is possible to be “too smart for your own good” or at least your own happiness.
I take this from a reference to third-party research in Gilbert’s book. It basically says that people who truly understand their true odds in gambling, or in life, are really less happy. Apparently sometimes “fuzzy math” means happiness. Believing in something just might be enough to make you happy. AND unfortunately what smart people often do is look for ways to negate everything. We might be perfect mathematicians and scientists, but we probably haven’t put ourselves out there at all. We’re boring people. We always have the answers, and we just know they are right: 2 + 2 = 4.
AND YET even us smart people realize that our happiness seems to be dependent on (at least sometimes) believing the impossible — can 2 + 2 = 400?
That thought just makes me smile.
Especially because it makes me think of Cole & I. When we first started dating it was him and me. 1 + 1 = 2, but then all the sudden I realized it really was more like 1 + 1 = 3 because we had a whole family; then add our pets and 1 + 1 = 3 + 4 pets! AND THEN add all the added days that he and I are happier (and closer to our true selves) because we’re together and the equation suddenly changes to 2 + 2 = 400!
It’s actually better than I could have imagined!
Anyways, for all of you still doing the straight up math. The “right answers” like 2 + 2 = 4 are a fine start, BUT a word of caution: TAKE TIME TO ADD UP THE REST WHEN YOU GET TO IT! Or, you might just risk losing something because your mind won’t even acknowledge it is there.
What’s the point of these seemingly pointless ramblings? COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS, EVEN THE ONES YOU HAVE NOT ACCOUNTED FOR YET — if for nothing else, then because they are coming, and if they’re not coming, it’s better for you if you believe they will!
