What’s up with the documentary?

People want to know when the documentary is going to be released. It’s so great that everyone is asking. I just screened the almost completed version and it’s BRILLIANT — Great job David!

The film is about 95% done now, and we’re anticipating premiering it at a festival in March/April of this year. We’re also going to be showing it at exclusive engagements like a screening in San Francisco in March…put together by UCLA Anderson Alum, for UCLA Alum, and some other very exclusive guests, including my Toigo family and more.

What’s up with the Motel Drive (Addams Community) project?

I’m raising funds to put together a neighborhood plan for the Motel Drive area. I’ve been working with elected officials, investors, and community members to simply establish what’s going on now and what the next steps will be. Also, very good news: a member of the Addams Community has been accepted to a master’s degree program in Los Angeles. It’s one weekend a month, so we won’t lose her in Fresno. She’ll be able to focus her project on the community that she knows and loves. I’m so excited about this and you’ll be hearing more.

What’s up with you?

I’ll be pursuing my own dreams of a balanced life this year. I have the goal of raising funds for the community development project above, I also want to take the bar exam (haven’t sat for that yet), and get out on the speaking circuit. Balancing those work and professional goals is much easier from my home base. I’m reconnecting with friends, family, and myself. I’ll have to do the “What’s up with you?” question almost daily for awhile as I discover my own inner truth about who I am, and what I want out of life.

I’d rather wear no shoes at all, than have shoes that determine my path.

The pair of shoes on the left are for kids in jail.
The pair on the right are part of my professional gear.
I’ve worn both.
Neither pair gets you very far…it’s the steps that I have taken, not the shoes that I’m wearing when I take the steps, that matter the most.

When a year passes by it’s difficult if not impossible to reflect a little…

First, let me say THANK YOU to every one of you who support this project. I’ve had a busy year, and I just know I have not said THANK YOU quite enough. I’m so appreciative of every single person and company who is on board to change the way we view adolescent youth that are struggling with poverty and abuse in this country.

Second, the very latest news is that I was at home for Christmas and New Years. It was amazing…actually it still is amazing to be home for the very first time! I’m some place safe where I can be me, where I can say what I want and what I need, and where people aren’t leaving. It’s not school, and it’s not a test. I’m finally living my life, on my terms, and I couldn’t ask for more.

Third, I’m very sad about losing Sherri. I’m sad that people die on the streets every single day, and never get close to experiencing the happiness that comes after safety and security.

Last, here’s a short review of 2007 and the transitions to 2008…

1) We’ve ended 2007 with a highly anticipated documentary short! The documentary short will get it’s festival premiere early this year — we’ll let you know as soon as we do, but I know that David has been working tirelessly to make the best film possible. I’m going to be seeing the final cut next week. I can’t believe we’re almost done with this part of the project.

2) On My Own (Carissa’s Song) by Mandi Perkins is being played and sold at www.MySpace.com/carissaproject
We’re looking forward to getting it up on iTunes in the next month, from there we’ll hit radio stations and count on support from all of you to make sure the song is heard around the country

3) In late October and November speaking engagements and media tours were amazing. Financial Times (upcoming), Private Equity Hub, Good Morning America, and a radio tour arranged around National Homeless Youth Awareness Month (NHYAM) just to name a few.

4) I spent a few months after graduation in a career on the pension plan side of private equity, helping to manage close to $3 billion, but I kept feeling like I needed to be back home. I’m so happy that I followed my heart, and so grateful for the experience and insights I gained in my short time at the fund.

5) I spoke at the Juvenile Justice Center for the Focus Forward Gala on October 11, 2007. I knew that night that I was coming home.

6) I graduated with the Juris Doctorate in May, and then I graduated from Anderson with an MBA in June. I thought about the bar exam, but decided on a much needed break instead. Under pressure by very wise people who love me, and have my best interest in mind, I’ll be taking the bar in 2008 — even though I don’t ever want to be a lawyer!

7) January to June all seems like a big blur. David, myself and the rest of the team successfully raised the budget to complete the film early in the year. I did a lot of speaking, and felt so many bad feelings because I was reliving my past all alone again, it was terrible, and I don’t recommend this to anyone. People were around, and I was getting help through it, but it was still really bad. I gained weight, I lost control of my days, and I felt useless way too much. Still, local news stations covered me at school, and an LA show went to Ron’s work with me. These were not my proudest moments, but people were beginning to take notice.

I’m starting off in 2008 with accomplishments and goals. There is more to do for myself, my community, and my family in terms of time and quality. Looking back on 2007, I just know that 2008 is going to be a brighter and better year…as far as life goes I’m done reliving the past. Now I’m thinking about the moment and how lucky I am to share it with people who love and support me on every level.

I wish the same for all of you!

Dear Friends,

I have very sad news. Sherri Williams, a friend I met recently on the streets in Fresno has passed away. You can read blogs related to Sherri on Nov 29 and Dec1 posts.

I was trying to get medical help for Sherri, it turned out that by the time she was in the hospital it was just too late…wish I could have done more.

Please send any donation amount you can spare to Mike Rhodes whose information is below, everything will help, but for details on what is needed please contact Mike via email and he will respond to you. This will cover services and housing for Sherri’s family.

Here’s a message from Mike below regarding Al, Sherri’s husband who was also homeless and took care of Sherri tirelessly.

He also mentions the memorial service on Sunday, where I plan to say a few words, as death on the streets is the harshest reality we are fighting against.

The services are at Roeding Park, the center of the neighborhood where I was prostituted as a 12 year old throw away. Sherri and I shared a similar past, and I know for certain that she and I are the same. I know for certain that if I hadn’t taken tests so well, or if a little worse had happened, or if Ron simply wasn’t there, I would be Sherri.

I pray that we can all let Sherri’s life and death remind us of where we would be, if we did not have those special people who loved and cared for us when we were children.

With love and with deep regret,
Carissa

To contribute to Sherri’s services & her family:

Mike Rhodes
P.O . Box 5077
Fresno Ca 93755
(559) 978-4502 (cell)
mikerhodes@comcast.net

(from Mike Rhodes)

Several people have asked me what they can do for Al, following Sherri’s death. I was with Al last night and passed along condolences and prayers from the homeless advocates in Fresno and beyond. Al did not have any specific requests, at this time, but I know he sure appreciates the hotel room he stayed in last night. When I picked him and his friend Terry up on Olive and 99 last night they were freezing. As you probably know, it is really cold in Fresno right now. So, A BIG THANK YOU, to those who helped pay for the hotel.

I want to remind everyone that there will be a memorial service for all of the homeless people who have died on the mean streets of Fresno. That event will be this Sunday. It would honor the memory of Sherri if you came. I think Al would appreciate it too. Here are the details:

Sunday, December 23
1 - 2 PM
Homeless Persons’ Memorial Day. The event in Fresno will take place at Roeding Park at the picnic area by northern end entrance on Olive Street.

The Program

A Standing Circle
Prayer
Blessings-Sage Burning
The Six Directions
Naming the Departed
Testimonies
(Open to everyone)
Procession (Tentatively)

Sweet Bread & Hot chocolate will be served. For more information see: http://www.nhchc.org/memorialday.html

At a recent holiday party, a clairvoyant said to me: “You’ve lived an unsheltered life, that’s why you’ve got so much going on.” She believed it when she said it, and it made sense to me.

I interpreted it like this: “I didn’t know shelter, so I do not know the concept of limits.”

And I was left with these questions: “Do I really have to choose? Or can I do it all?”

Choosing freaks me out, but it also reminds me of that saying: anything worth doing is worth doing well.

I knew this when I studied math. I couldn’t study math with the TV on. I needed silence. I didn’t have a cell phone, or a laptop. I didn’t even check email. I lived in my books. I rewrote entire chapters if I had to. I could not solve a complicated problem without complete focus and dedication. Every moment I studied math, I was in the moment fully.

I guess I have ebbed and flowed out of limitlessness. Now is the time to ebb, or flow, or whatever I need to do to do less. It’s clear to me, and hopefully only me, that I’ve given away quality for quantity.

I know that I can do the multi-tasking life again when necessary, but for now the gift is in the present. And the gift is quality — Quality in life, in love, in community, in spirit, and in health.

Dr. Lois Lee from Children of the Night was honored this morning at a Women in Film networking breakfast.
If you don’t know Lois you’re missing out. She is the mom of all moms!

She has been working tirelessly with prostituted children for nearly 30 years. She’s wise and it shows in her programs. Children of the Night is a home first, and a shelter second. Lois offers on-site comprehensive services so that children have a chance to be just that — children.

In light of recent congressional rulings shelters for prostituted children and teens will not be funded in the near future.

Children of the Night does not take government funding and is not waiting for government funding in order to make a difference. During election season it’s tougher to get donations, and according to Dr. Lee, election season must have started one year early!

Support Dr. Lee and her comprehensive service program. Find out how:
www.childrenofthenight.org

Reference Carissa in the donation line. Every donation counts $10, $100, $500, or $2000. COTN is a shelter for kids from across America, so kids that call the hotline from anywhere in the U.S. will be rescued
(800) 551-1300.

In the near future I’ll also be supporting a program that takes a community approach to ending the prostitution of children in neighborhoods. The ACTION Network is a fledgling nonprofit that has made incredible waves in the San Diego region. www.sandiegoactionnetwork.org — first things first is they’ll need a new website. Let me know if anyone wants to donate some expertise and time.

Thanks for the continued support!

http://www.pehub.com/wordpress/?p=1789

Hello friends near and far!

If you are in Fresno tomorrow and interested I’m going to have lunch at 12:15 at The Smokehouse Grill at 1231 Van Ness Avenue across the street from the Fresno County Credit Union. We won’t be able to guarantee we’re all sitting together because no reservations accepted.

The agenda for the public hearing on homelessness is attached. I’m an item on the agenda, but it’s really not about me. At least not me now. It’s about me at 12. I would have loved to have had an opportunity to be heard when I was 12, or even 14, or even 17, or even 20!

What if I had a voice then? Maybe I wouldn’t have suffered as much…maybe?

I know there are many homeless youth in Fresno. All of them can’t be there tomorrow because there is not enough room. So instead of going for a large number, please invite 1 or 2 youth to share their stories. The ones who are quiet can proudly stand with me in solidarity. This would mean the world to me.

Fyi: Homeless or formerly homeless youth (12-24), this includes runaways, couch surfing, and living in a shelter/group setting w/o own home.

We need to hear from homeless youth from all over the county (hope to hear from Huron/Coalinga).

Please help me make this a strong and proud moment in Fresno County & City history, a moment when the voiceless speak.

Gratefully yours,
Carissa

December 7, 2007 Draft Joint Agenda

I’m still worried about my homeless friend that is living behind McDonald’s. If our community was stronger we wouldn’t let her suffer. She needs a surgery, but will have to sober up for 90 days.

She may need to go out of the area, southern or northern California, in order to get the help she needs. In my opinion there have been some events in her life that cause an extreme distrust of the police and the community here in Fresno. Women that are homeless in Fresno, like elsewhere, are lucky if they stay alive. In Fresno they fight their way through the streets, and there is no shelter for them, let alone services and care.

Fresno is will recognize that compassion will allow us to prosper…until then we can use some outside help.

Here’s the new link for the GMA interview. Posted until the Press link is able to be updated.

GMA November 23, 2007

I’m doing well. I’m up too late right now. Going to sleep soon. I went to the streets today. I met a woman who is 40+ years old. She’s suffering from alcoholism and she’s in a wheelchair. She needs a surgery. Did I mention she’s homeless?

I thought the first person I’d help on this street might be a kid, but that’s what I get for thinking. It turns out that this 40+ year old woman was once a girl on the street. All she shared with me was, “I was 17 years old.”

I identified with her. I saw her eyes and I saw my own. I had to learn more, so I began to investigate.

From speaking with a family member who is also homeless, it sounds like traumatic fistula. She has reported her symptoms to local news reporters. Everyone wants to know why she is in a wheelchair. It’s not because she can’t walk on her legs, it is because the most private parts of her body are turning against her. She has a prolapsed uterus and rectal prolapse.

It’s likely cause, when to this degree, is probably stress and trauma. I’m not sure about how this exactly happened to her. I just know my own story, so I can only imagine.

Though some degree of vaginal prolapse occurs in 30-40% of all women, few report it because of embarrassment. [edited Nov 29 because I want you to go to this link to read more in detail].

The worst cases are seen in war zones where rape is a common form of torture. It’s called traumatic fistula and is common among rape victims that have had severe traumatic rapes. http://www.unfpa.org/16days/documents/pl_traumaticfistula.doc

She needs counseling and medical care today.

The last doctor that saw her said he would not perform surgery until she was sober for 90 days.

She needs an innovative and compassionate process to getting sober. She needs a safe and loving place where she is not in constant fear because of her horrific past. Not many people can see the world through her eyes. She is afraid of almost everything.

That safe and caring place, unfortunately, is not the local hospital. She was discharged from the local hospital with a list of phone numbers to call to get sober. It was just before she would have been sent to a specialist for surgery.

Her health is declining fast.

She has a bottle of whiskey in a paper bag tucked between her right leg and the arm of her wheelchair. I think if I were her I would have a bottle too.

She cannot control her bowel movements. She was arrested this summer for making a mess in a public bathroom. It is the closest public restroom to the empty lot where she sleeps and keeps her personal belongings in a shopping cart.

She cusses at the cops, and uses the f-word a lot. She is afraid of everyone and I think it’s why she’s not getting the help she needs.

I can put myself in her position. Every time she wakes up it’s like she was in a bad car wreck. Everyone that comes too close (when she’s sober) is out to get her. They’re going to hurt her. No matter how kind you are, if you are a man you are the most frightening. No matter how kind you are you cannot get close to her.

Now she has been given a citation for “interfering with business” by using public restrooms. Even if she will always be sick, can’t she be sick without being humilated?

I know that there is someone out there that can provide immediate help. Please pass this on to anyone you think can help.

The person that knows even more than I do about getting her help is at: AllianceEditor@comcast.net

Please let either of us know if you can help.